They don't call it the Cheshire Plain because its flat but because its deadly dull. I don't think I've ever been bored cycling before. Except for meeting Mike Dutton, the only other end to ender I met, who's assistant organist at Newcastle Cathedral and raising money for restorations there. Brave guy, also doing it solo, but (unlike me) with no back up. 

Time in saddle 6hrs 31mins, 88.9 miles, Av 13.6mph, total miles 396 

Seventh day in and boredom is really setting in. Getting into the Lake District was a relief, it wasn't on the Cyclist Touring Club's Lands End to John O'Groats route but Stacey and I both wanted to visit. Absolutely gorgeous but the worst road surfaces in the UK, and that's major roads not tracks. I might visit the Lakes again but not on a road bike. The composite type of road surface- I don't know the technical name for it- breaks up.  As the1 inch pieces of stone get removed, chunks of stones are left sticking up from the base tarmac. This gives a rattling, jarring effect on a bike.

Time in saddle 5hrs 46mins, 71.2 miles, Av 12.3mph, total miles 467.2 

Colder today, and on top of the hills outside Keswick the weather turned, dropping about 5 degrees C with the wind coming from the NW and heavy rain. Awful, like winter. Went further than the stated mileage but got my first puncture and went back a few miles to camp. The rear Continental 3000 was worn out after 1500 miles though the front looks like its got a few hundred miles left in it. Replaced with a Schwalbe with a built in Kevlar strip. Slightly heavier but not noticeable, and reassuring.

Time in saddle 5hrs 32mins, 67.5 miles, Av 12.1mph, total miles 534.7 

Still battling strong headwind. Going downhill is an effort. Trip computer broke so mileage estimated. Low point of trip.

55 miles and that was enough.

Increasingly beautiful country, around the coast past Arran and Bute. Thanks to the owner of the Skelmorlie camp site who's name I didn't get, for his donation. We had to stop here tonight for the Gourock to Dunoon ferry tomorrow. Not a cheat! Its on the CTC route, and it means you don't have to go through Glasgow if taking a west coast route. Only injury of the trip- I slipped off my cleat pedal and skinned the front of my shin. Had dinner in a restaurant overlooking a very smart marina at Inverkip, which felt like returning to civilisation. And the trip computer miraculously healed itself so I'm happier.

Time in saddle 5hrs 20mins, 66.4miles, Av 12.4mph, total miles 655 

Another campsite on the banks of a loch, this time the Loch Ness Caravan and Camping site, has a mile-long stretch of the Loch. Thanks to Bob for getting us in late, and his encouragement for the ride. Loch Ness is big. Didn't see Nessie. Leaving Loch Ness at Castle Urquhart and almost immediately taking a right up the A833 you are greeted with a bit of a climb (see below!). Its worth it as at the top you're out onto several miles of heather moorland before a long and mostly straight descent to sea level at Beauly. If 40mph on a bike doesn't put a smile on your face then I don't know what will. 

Another stunning view from a height across the Dornoch Firth to Bonor Bridge- pic can't capture the size of it all.

Then, the A836 after Lairg has to be one of the wildest places in Britain. Eighteen miles through a high-plains peat bog wilderness with literally nothing except a pub right in the middle. After that Loch Naver, where the midges will provide you with your own horror B-movie. Nothing stops them, and they will get everywhere- inside a wound dressing, inside the camper van, and they come in endless unceasing clouds. Pray for rain or wind because they have no respect for DEET and laugh at citronella. Ha ha, puny human. After a few days the ones in the van which didn't feed on us were dying off, and they seemed a bit pathetic on their own away from their clouds, rather like lone Borg.

Apart from the midges I had fancied a bit of a challenge today, and as I had never done a hundred miles in a day before I decided to do one today. Not really any harder than 70 or 80, you just keep going.

Time in saddle 7 hrs 56 mins, 100.3 miles, average speed 12.6 mph, total miles 910.8 

One in 6.66- the number of the hill! Part way in to a hundred mile day. Well, you need a challenge now and again.

So the final day, with 71 miles to go I decided to take it easy and do a little more sightseeing which paid off as past Thurso I saw a couple of Hen Harriers and a superb view of a barn owl quartering the fields at dusk. My book says there aren't any barn owls in this part of Scotland. Thurso also brought my second mechanical breakdown. I noticed my front tyre, a Continental 3000 which still had plenty of tread on it, had a split running right through the rubber across the entire tread at one point for no apparent reason. A quick call to Stacey and a trip to The Bike Shop, Thurso, and one new Michelin later I was on my way. Hi to the two young MTBers who followed me round Thurso with an endless stream of questions!

And that was it. Signed in at JoG as the sun was setting and sampled some Orkneys single malt. Not as good as the sampling to be had at the Whiskey Castle in Tomintoul on the way back, www.whiskycastle.com . I'd promised myself a wee dram (well a bottle actually) and Cathy was able to discern my particular taste in malts and provide a few samples, from which I chose the 12 year old Old Pulteney, which is accompanying me as I write.

Time in saddle 6 hrs 16 mins, 71 miles, average speed 11.2 mph, total miles 981.7 

 

So would I do it again? Probably not. Its an amazing thing to do, at all sorts of different levels, and I would definitely recommend doing it if you're considering it. Seeing all of our mainland in one go is quite something. I love cycling but much of this route was uninspiring (Hereford to Cumbria) and in some places very hard going. (To be fair to the CTC's route I went straight up the A49 after Hereford, not their more scenic but twistier route to Shrewsbury). I would love to hear from anyone who has enjoyed crossing Devon and Cornwall. Wonderful places to walk, but on a bike on this particular route you're often stuck in lanes with no views on a never-ending up and down rollercoaster. Not my idea of fun. If I were going to do any more long distance biking I'd stick to Scotland, or possibly go over to some of the islands.

I developed quite a complex about litter on this trip. What is going on in some lamebrains' minds that they can go to some of the most awe-inspiring landscape on the planet and dump their rubbish there? You took it there full, why can't you take it home empty? Doh. That's it, rant over till next time.

Some technical things- two thicknesses of bar tape works wonders, I did the ride on old mitts with squashed padding completely comfortably. Saddle sores, didn't have any, didn't really know what they were till just before the ride when I found out they have an element of infection, like a spot or boil, and they aren't just from rubbing. So I used some tea tree cream on the saddle area (mine, not the bike's :-)) daily, with washes before and after riding and all was OK. The bike and the body were absolutely fine which I put down to good preparation.

What better way to end than on saddle sores? Any queries (not just on saddle sores!) email paulandstacey(at)supanet.com (swap @ for (at) )

And many thanks for all the goodwill, and generous donations which have come in while we've been away. You may still have time to send a donation, see our front page www.cranial.org.uk/ride.htm. I'll put a date on there for the prize draw, if after that date, you can send donations direct to the causes.

And last but certainly not least a big big thank you to Stacey for being there, van driving, dealing with the AA, shopping, cooking, laundry, finding campsites, getting us in full campsites, fighting midges, and all sorts of other support before, during and after the trip. 

Cheers, Paul.